Hidden Feelings
by junseoblover
Summary: this fanfic is not mine. Just wanted to download it so i tried to post it here. THANKS TO THE OWNER


**CHAPTER 1 :**

The tears were still falling when I exited the dressing room and walked into the hall. My clothes were disheveled and my make up was smeared around my eyes. Various people stopped to stare at me but honestly I couldn't care less at the moment. I heard someone say my name but I kept walking. I don't know why but I broke into a full sprint, just wanting to get away from everyone. Without any thoughts I ran aimlessly through the building. I managed to make my way up to the roof and took a seat against the wall there. I sat there for a long while till my tears dried. I felt sleepy after pouring out all my emotions and gradually lost my grip on reality, choosing to live in my dreamland for a while.

I slowly opened my eyes when I heard someone coming up the stairs. The booming sound of footsteps was unmistakable and by instinct I crawled behind a chimney, hiding myself from sight. The door opened and from my place I could only try to listen to what was going on. "She wouldn't have killed herself right?" A voice said and I was confused about what he was saying. The voice was familiar though but I couldn't remember who it was. My mind seemed to be filled with marshmallows, it didn't work like it should. "I sure hope not. But that man should! How dare he take advantage of her like that." Another voice said and I began to grasp what they were talking about. They were searching for me apparently but I still stayed hidden in my place. The sound of another pair of feet came closer and I pushed myself in the farthest corner to hide, but to no avail.

A pair of eyes came into view and I cowered away from him, though I recognized him now, it was Hyun Seung. "Guys, she's here." He said softly and he held out his hand for me to take. I hesitated for a second and then 2 other heads appeared. "Oh god, you're here. We've been looking everywhere for you." Kikwang said. I still didn't move and just stared at the three of them. "Kikwang, stop scaring her with your hyperactivity." Dojoon said but I didn't focus my attention on him. My attention was on the still outstretched hand of Hyun Seung and my eyes moved to his face. I looked into his trustful eyes and slowly crawled out of the little corner I had been sitting in.

The guys observed me and then Hyun Seung shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to me. I took it without any thought, I knew my blouse was ripped and it didn't cover much of my skin anymore. "Are you okay?" Doojoon asked and I shrugged, not being able to find words right now. "Are you hurt?" Hyun Seung asked and I shook my head. "Come on, let's go downstairs. Everyone is really worried." He said softly and I looked up at him with fear in my eyes. Did they really mean everyone? Hyun Seung must've understood my look cause he shook his head. "They brought him to the police station." He said and I released the breath I must've been holding.

I took a step to the door but somehow my legs couldn't carry me anymore. I fell to the ground before any of them could react, falling onto my knees. "Can you stand up?" Doojoon asked and I shrugged again. It seemed as if all my strength had been sucked out of me, leaving me like a rag doll. The guys stood still for a while, contemplating what to do next I assume. I unconsciously stared up at Hyun Seung and without a word he slowly bent down. Carefully grabbing me he pulled me up into his arms, being mindful not to touch me too much. "Let's go down." He said and for the first time tonight I felt safe where I was.

We ascended the stairs till we reached the first floor where everyone must be sitting. People got up when they saw us approaching. I looked up when my manager came running towards us. "Faye! Are you alright?" He said and I nodded slowly, still dazed from all that happened. Hyun Seung put me down again and I wobbled on my feet. I had to grab his shoulder to keep standing and he sent me a worried look. My manager started blabbering about I don't know what but I just stood there like a mute. "I think she wants to go home." Hyun Seung said and I looked at him thankfully. "But honey, we have to know what happened." My manager said and I knew he meant it well but that was the last thing I wanted to talk about. I just shook my head. "But…" My manager began and I was surprised when I heard Dojoon speak up. "I don't think now is a good time. Speak to her tomorrow. Right now all she needs is a good sleep." He said wisely and once again I could understand why he was the leader of them all. My manager nodded and sighed. "Guess you're right." The rest of the evening passed like a blur. My manager got all my stuff and we got into the car. I remember stumbling into my apartment where I just crawled into my bed before losing consciousness.

When I woke up it felt as if I had slept for a long time. Blindly searching for my phone I got a shock. I had slept till 4 pm! Not that it was just the time that shocked me, it seemed everyone knew about the incident. I had tons of texts and missed calls. Tossing my phone on the nightstand again I got up from the bed. I was still wearing Hyun Seung's jacket I now noticed. I walked into the kitchen and found a note from my manager. He asked me to come to the CUBE building when I was awake. I took a long shower and dresses myself to go to the building. I opened my laptop so I could check my mail. Turned out that was a bad idea. When my internetbrowser opened I nearly fell off my chair. On the newssite that was my homepage I saw my own face. "Singer/actress Faye sexually harassed" It read in bold letters and I gasped. How did that come here! I didn't even bother to read the text, I wasn't interested in the nonsense they must've put in it. Slapping my laptop shut I grabbed my bag and left the apartment.

There were some reporters at the entrance but they didn't seem to notice me when I entered. When I walked through the corridors at Cube a lot of people stared at me but I just kept my stare focused on the ground and made my way to the practice room I was sure I would find my manager. I opened the door and was shocked when I found almost the entire Cube family present. Our company's president was there along with BEAST, 4minute, and their managers. They were all silent for a while till the president spoke up. "Faye. Are you alright?" He asked and I nodded. "Are you really alright?" My manager added and I found myself annoyed. "Yes! Could everyone please stop asking me that!" I said agitated and I got surprised stares. "I'm sorry." I said and then the president placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I know this must be hard but we need you to tell us what happened yesterday." He said and I felt my entire body stiffen. I had placed yesterday's events in a dark corner of my brain and locked it there tightly, I didn't really want to talk about it. "But I don't want to talk about it." I said and shrugged myself out of his hand. "But Faye, we really have to know what happened. The press is flooding us with questions and we don't know what to tell anyone." The president said and my eyes narrowed dangerously. I wanted to yell at him for being pushy but instead just turned around. "I'm going to practice my routine for Music Bank." I said calmly and walked through the door.

I walked towards an empty practice room and plugged in my IPod. Turning the volume up I started dancing. After a while the door opened and it revealed the BEAST members. I was really close with all of them so it didn't surprise me it was them who went searching for me first. I kept dancing and they took a seat against the wall. They knew me well enough not to go and ask questions. I pretended not to see them at first but that became hard when they decided to dance with me. It didn't matter how often they did it but them dancing my 'girly' moves always got me laughing. "Ahh. Guys stop it! It's horrible!" I yelled eventually and they laughed. "Now there is our old Faye back." Yoseob said and I smacked him on the arm. "Who do you think you're calling old!" I said mad and he immediately defended himself. "I didn't mean it like that. You know I didn't.." He began and I burst into laughing.

"Kidding." I said while I winked and everyone laughed. My eyes found their way to Hyun Seung and I felt something flutter when I saw him laughing heartily. It shocked myself, I wasn't supposed to feel anything for him anymore. We had been dating for a year when I had still been a trainee but eventually it just didn't work out anymore. With my impending debut and their though schedules we found ourselves fighting more often till we had called the quits. He looked at me and our eyes met. With a smile I let my eyes drop and ruffled Yoseob's hair. "I'm hungry. Anyone wants to come?" I said and had to clasp my hands on my ears with the enthusiastic response from everyone. After a call to their manager the van would be ready in a few minutes.

With Jun Hyung's arm around my shoulders and Yoseob's arm hooked through mine we walked towards the exit of the building where the van would be waiting. The amount of reporters seemed to have doubled over the past two hours and they did notice us all approaching the exit. The yelling started and I could make out my own name pretty often. The guys around me formed a protective cage around me and Jun Hyung placed his cap on my head. Kikwang draped his shawl around my neck so I could hide my face and we then all moved in a unit. The reporters yelled even harder when we exited but the boys formed a wall between me and them all so I could safely reach the van. The boys climbed in after me and the van skidded away.

The dinner with the boys did me good. They didn't probe once for what had happened and I loved them for it. Jun Hyung told me I would be featured in one of their new songs, which was why I had found everyone together in one room before. I went with them to their dorm when we finished eating. That might sound strange but it was something I often did. When I had been dating Hyun Seung I came by often but even when we broke up I kept visiting them frequently whenever we had time. I felt at home in their dorm, I liked it more than my own apartment. My manager called me to ask me if I would be able to continue with my normal schedule the next day and I assured him it was fine. When I had gotten tired I hugged all the members and called my driver to pick me up. It seemed as if Hyun Seung's eyes lingered on me a little longer than necessary but I shrugged it off.

The next week passed without much events. I had to assure everyone I met that I was really fine but every day the amount of people asking got a little less. After a few days the talk about the incident faded away and I could finally enter Cube without a thousand reporters attacking me. I still hadn't spoken a word about the accident, though my agency kept bugging me about it. I understood them since I had to tell what happened to the police but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I met some friends but spent most of my time with BEAST. They had always been my best (guy) friends and they supported me without being pushy. They were just there and that was enough for me.

I went with them to a photoshoot and followed them to their dorm afterwards. We all let our itred bodies fall into the nearest chair or couch and turned on the tv. I was sitting sandwiched between Junhyung and Hyun Seung on the couch. We turned on the tv and began watching a crime series. I was only half following what it was about till I saw a scene that was far too familiar. A young girl was pushed into a corner and her clothes were ripped off her body by some guys. She screamed for help but no-one answered and I closed my eyes. But that wasn't enough to block out the piercing screams of the girl. Someone quickly changed the channel and I intuitively knew they were all looking at me.

One lonely tear escaped my eye and slowly slid down my cheek. I opened my eyes and focused on a point in the distance. "I just came back after performing and he was sitting in my dressingroom. He was wearing a staff shirt so I thought he had just needed something. When I asked why he was there he just smiled and walked to the door. I thought he would leave but he didn't, instead he locked the door before turning around with a weird look in his eyes." I started talking without any reason and couldn't seem to shut myself up anymore. I was aware of all the guys staring at me with worry but I needed to tell it now.

"I got scared and told him to leave but he didn't. Instead he came closer and I was backed into a corner. I began screaming but he placed his hand on my mouth and…and he began touching me. I tried to bite him, to hit him, to kick him but he was so much stronger than me. He ripped my clothes and touched me everywhere, then he grabbed my hand to make me touch him. I kept yelling and moving so he couldn't… do what he wanted. But he was so strong, I couldn't hold it and was so scared. Someone must've heard my screams cause there was knocking on the door and then they just broke the door entirely. They were just in time. The guy was surprised and I freed myself, running away as fast as I could." I ended and the tears that hadn't fallen for a week finally appeared.

I turned to the person closest to me and buried my head in his chest. It turned out to be Hyun Seung, his comforting scent enveloped me and I clung to him even stronger. The familiar warmth of his arms embraced me and I just cried my heart out. On the background I heard a lot of cursing and the sound of breaking glass. But for none of that mattered now, the only thing that mattered was the pair of arms around me that belong to a person I love. I was glad none of them asked any questions after that. Hyun Seung spoke comforting words and I was remembered of the times he hold me close like this. The whole incident had released feelings I had kept hidden for a long time and it made me realize I wasn't over Hyun Seung at all. I started to feel drowsy by the crying and Hyun Seung's scent and slowly drifted to sleep in his arms

**CHAPTER 2 :**

When I woke up it was dark in the room but that wasn't really what I cared about. The thing I did care about was that I was still laying with Hyun Seung on the couch, his arms wrapped around me tightly. I stole a glance at his face and was overwhelmed by the beauty of it. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, with his lips slightly parted. I fought the urge to reach out my hand and trace his cheek. Our relationship had been so good till all the stress had broken us apart. I had found myself thinking about those good times for a long while but after the incident it had only gotten more. The relief I had felt when I saw Hyun Seung on the roof had been so great. I must admit to myself that I was developing feelings for him again or maybe those feelings had never left at all.

The next time I woke up Hyun Seung wasn't longer laying next to me. I looked around disorientated and saw the boys were all moving around the dorm. "Morning honey." Kikwang said and I sleepily rubbed my hand over my eyes. "Mowninn." I muttered and they laughed at me. "Feeling better?" Jun Hyung asked and I nodded. "It was good to let it all out." I said and I straightened up. "I'm going to the police today." I said and all the faces I met were both happy and concerned. "I think it is good that you are going to tell but are you sure you can handle it?" Doojoon asked concerned and I smiled at his comment. "I think I can handle it." I said and I was caught off guard by the next comment. "I'll come with you." Hyun Seung stated and every head turned into his direction. "Heh?" I said confused and I wasn't the only one who was confused. "You shouldn't go there alone. At least someone should be there to support you." He said. "I couldn't agree with you more Seungie but aren't you forgetting something?" Doojoon asked with an eyebrow raised.

Hyun Seung furrowed his brow when he thought but then shook his head. "I don't think so." He said and I saw the other members rolling their eyes. "You do know we are about to leave for a show right? So how would you be able to accompany Faye?" Doojoon continued and Hyun Seung didn't flinch. "I'll just won't be able to perform today. No big deal." He said and before anyone could react Jun Hyung hand flew out to lightly smack him on the arm. "Seriously hyung!" He reprimanded Hyun Seung but with one glance at Hyun Seung I could see where this would go. "I'm serious!" He said stubbornly and the next 5 minutes were filled with bickering. Hyun Seung was being his usual 4D self and the others tried to make him see it would be better if he went to the performance.

I smiled to myself, seeing Hyun Seung being this stubborn and 4D reminded me of the time I had fallen deeply in love with him. It was one of his characteristics that attracted me to him in the first place. I listened to them for a while with an amused smile on my face. "Guys! I'll just call my manager and ask him to take me. He has to know the story anyway and I won't tell it a third time so it's his only chance to hear the story." I interrupted them.

Hyun Seung looked at me with big eyes like I had just betrayed him.. "You don't want me to come with you?" He asked hurt. "I would love it if you came with me but you can't go skipping your performance for it. What would your fans think!" I said and he pouted but seemed to accept my explanation. "Hmm, I still don't like it." He said with a huff but he didn't complain when Doojoon pulled him to the door while mouthing 'thanks'. "Come on, don't want to be late!" He said to Hyun Seung and the latter grudgingly obliged. Yoseob sent me a thumbs up behind Hyun Seung's back and I waved at them. "Just go! I'll clean up and then leave. Call you later!" I said and Doojoon winked at me before he pulled the door closed behind him.

I smiled when they had all left. It had always been like this, Hyun Seung only listened to me when he was being stubborn. I had been called in for help often when his members couldn't make him see reason. After cleaning up the place (those guys could be real pigs sometimes) I called my manager and asked him to accompany me to the police station. It was tiring to be there. Three different people needed to listen to my statement about the incident and I found myself wishing for the presence of Hyun Seung. When finally left the police station I checked my phone and was surprised when I found a text from Hyun Seung. 'How did the talk go? Everything alright? Do I need to kick someone's ass? Do you need me to come to you? X Seung.' I laughed at his text full of questions, that boy was so strange at times.

Quickly texting back I assured him he didn't have to come and that he should just do his performance well to make me proud. I could just imagine the way he would pout when he read it. Just a minute late I got a text from Yoseob. 'Faye! What did you say to Seungie? He is all pouty right now!' He sent and I shook my head with a smile. 'What makes you think I did something wrong?' I texted him back innocently and soon enough I got a response. 'Sweety, we all know you are the only one who can make him pout like that!' He replied and I snorted. 'Sorry!' I simply replied to Yoseob. 'Yah! Stop pouting!' I then sent to Hyun Seung. 'I'm not pouting!' He sent back and I smiled to myself.

'Hmm, so you just look like that because it's your normal facial expression?' I sent and I enjoyed our childish banter. 'Just tell me who I have to kill alright.' He sent back and I immediately began typing my response. 'No killing! Just suck it up and perform! Good luck.' I sent and put my phone away. I had to start filming in a minute so there was no time for texting. The rest of my day was filled with variety filming and when I checked my phone during the break I found it filled with Hyun Seungs texts. 'Tell me who said it!', 'Faye! Tell me.', 'Yah! This is no way to treat your oppa!' , 'If you don't tell me I'll just kill all of them!'. That was just a small selection of his texts. He was so 4D! I didn't have time to response nor did I know what to say so I didn't sent anything back.

The next day started way too early for my taste and I was driven to the hair salon while still half asleep. They would be dyeing my hair right now so I would be stuck here for a while. I was sitting peacefully in the chair with my eyes closed while the cordi unnies did my hair till I heard the sound of people entering. Cracking open one eyelid I was met with the equally sleepy . "Hey unnie." I said and she came to sit next to me. She was one of my closest friends and we talked about a lot of stuff while her make-up was being done. "You are really close to BEAST right." She began and I looked at her in question. It seemed like she meant something with that. "Yes. But so are you! Why?' I asked suspicious and she shrugged innocently.

"Nothing! It's just that you and Hyun Seung are being close again recently." She said and I raised one of my eyebrows at her. "So?" I said though I knew very well what she was trying to say. Not like I hadn't noticed it myself. "You know what I mean. Isn't there a chance you guys will, you know, get back together or something." She said and I wanted to deny but she was right on the point. "I don't know, honestly. It could be possible now we are older and more experienced with the entire idol thing." I said and she smiled. "Do you want it to work out?" Gina then asked and I pursed my lips. "Again, I don't know. I'll just see where life takes the both of us." I said and Gina smiled. "I'll be rooting for the both of you!" She said and I laughed at her enthusiasm.

**CHAPTER 3 :**

My day was filled with a lot of things. Since I would be officially making my comeback tonight at Music Bank a lot of things had to be taken care of. Never the less I was ready to take the stage by the end of the day. I was wearing a short black jumpsuit with high heels, so my figure was accentuated. My newly colored dark brown hair waved over my shoulders. Before my performance I dropped by the dressing room of BEAST who were also going to perform. I opened the door to find them all very busy. They were also getting ready to perform so they were just changing their outfits. When Kikwang noticed me he was so shocked he dropped his phone. "Woahhh! You look hot!" He exclaimed and the other members turned to look at me as well.

I enjoyed the stares I was getting and walked into the room with a confident feeling. I loved it if guys who saw beautiful idols on a daily basis still admired me. "Wow Faye. You're stunning." Doojoon said and I smiled. "Let's do a fighting together!" I said and immediately they extended their arms. "For a good comeback and for you to win tonight! FIGHTING!". I yelled and they all joined in. I felt a hand on my back and when I looked who it was it turned out to be Hyun Seung. "Good luck." He said softly while smiling sweetly. I smiled back and then shyly cast my eyes down. "See you later!" I yelled before rushing towards the stage.

My performance went smoothly and I got a adrenaline rush because of all the fans. I was all hyped up when I walked off the stage. I stayed near the stage to watch most of the performances and talked with a lot of the performers. People always talked about scandals and stuff but the truth was that most idols were just friends. I mean, we all understood what it was like to work your ass off so it made us connect. I was just talking with Hyorin when the familiar tune of Fiction began. I focused my attention on the performance and smiled proudly. Watching them perform always made me feel proud and they truly did look amazing. My eyes landed on Hyun Seung when he was singing and I felt the familiar warmth in my heart when I saw him being so passionate.

When the song ended I clapped enthusiastically and then all the performers were asked on stage. Together with Hyorin I went up the stage and found myself right behind my lovely boys. They were nominees so they were standing in the front. After a lot of tension the words were spoken. "And the winner of this week is BEAST!" I clapped enthusiastically and was genuinely happy when I saw their happiness. They all embraced each other and got congratulation hugs all over. Since I was in their company and a close friend I got my fair share of those as well. I was eventually crushed in the middle of a Doojoon and Yoseob sandwich, something of which Hyun Seung saved me by pulling me into his arms. I hugged all the members but it seemed as if the ghost of Seungie's arms around me was still there.

After the congratulatory speech the intro of Fiction began and I wanted to walk off stage. Not that they were having any of that though, Junhyung prevented me from exiting and instead pulled me to the middle of the stage to celebrate with them. With a devious smirk I grabbed his mike and rattled of his entire rap accompanied by his moves. The guys cheered and I just laughed while joining them in the fiction dance. Damn, that move wasn't that easy if you were wearing heels. I almost fell but was caught by Doojoon who happened to stand next to me.

The celebration continued when we all arrived in their dressing room. All the staff congratulated them and everyone was in a good mood. A lot of other idols dropped by to congratulate them as well. It was fun for a while but their manager kept nagging them to leave since they had an early morning the next day. I sat next to Yoseob and he smiled mischievously. "Come hang out at our place but don't tell your manager, we'll get killed if he knows we are going to stay up late." He whispered in my ear and I nodded. "I'll be there." I whispered back and he winked. The boys let themselves be dragged home while I went to my own dressing room to get out of the stage outfit and changed in a comfortable oversized sweater with jeans and sneakers.

I let my manager drive me to my apartment and when I was sure he left I sneaked out of the apartment again and dropped by a 24-hour shop. Purchasing some bottles I continued my way to BEAST's dorm. I stood outside the dorm while I dialed Doojoon's number. "Oppa!" I said happily when he answered and he chuckled. "Can I come in?" I asked and he hummed in agreement. "The coast is clear." He said and I quickly made my way to their dorm. Punching the numbers of the keycode I opened the door and was greeted by a shirtless Kikwang. "You're here!" He said happily and I smiled The sight of him without a shirt was something I often saw but still not something a girl grew immune for. Though I had to admit I liked them a little more leaner, somewhat like Hyun Seung. Stop! Wrong thoughts… I shook my head to clear it from the thoughts and headed to the kitchen to put the beer I brought into the fridge. "Anyone wants something to drink?" I called and I got a enthusiastic response of the boys. I took some beer bottles with me and handed them all one, grabbing one for myself as well.

I took a seat on the couch, stretching out over the guys already sitting there. My head rested on Doojoons lap while my feet rested on Yoseob. Squashed between them was Dongwoon with an amused smile. From my laying position I looked at everyone. "I'm so proud of you guys." I said and she laughed. Doojoon slowly combed his fingers through my hair. "We're also proud of you our baby. Your performance was rocking. I'm sure you'll win next week." He said and I smiled while looking into his face. "Thank you." I said touched.

"But you know you promised us something." I heard Kikwang say from the corner of the room and I just heard he was up to something. "I did?" I said suspiciously and he nodded. "You would perform a sexy dance for us if we won first place." He said innocently and I looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Heh?" I said and then Junhyung chimed in. "Yes you did!" He said and I looked at him incredulously. I was pretty sure I had never promised something like that but I couldn't withstand if they were going to gang up on me. "Yes Faye, you promised us." Yoseob now said as well with a mischievous grin. I narrowed my eyes at him, he was such a traitor.

Slowly I got off the couch and shook my head. "You're so going to regret this guys." I said and cocked my head to the side. "To think I just wanted to give you Hyosung's number now she finally got a cellphone, too bad for you Kikwang." I said and his mouth formed a perfect 'O'. The others laughed at my attack but I turned to them with an equally mischievous gaze. "And you shut up as well Yoseob cause I know who you like as well." I threatened and he gave me puppy eyes. "I was just kidding!" Kikwang said and I shook my head. "Too late, now I'm going to give you a sexy dance." I said and Kikwang stood up from his spot to throw his arms around me. "You don't have to! Just please give me Hyosung's number." He said and I smirked, mission accomplished.

When Kikwang and Yoseob calmed down again we started watching one of the newest (and scariest) horror movies. I sat down next to Hyun Seung who was sitting on the ground and nudged him. Hyun Seung snorted when he looked at me and I looked at him in curiosity. "You're such a manipulator." He said and I smiled. "Yah! Like you aren't trying to manipulate me by saying I promised something." I countered and he smirked. "Pff, but we just want to see you dance cause you look so great today." He said and in my mind I staggered but I kept composed. I don't think he knows how much it still means to me if he tells me I look good. "You don't have to trick me into dancing for you. Just asking nicely would also do the trick." I muttered and he smiled sweetly. "I'll remember that." He said and then we both turned our attention to the television again.

During the film all of us kept drinking and having fun. With a little alcohol in his system Hyun Seung really changed for the better. After our break up we had always stayed friends but he was always cautious not to touch me too much and stuff, with some exceptions like the winning of awards excluded. When he drank that little protective barrier around him disappeared and it was just like when we had just met. He didn't hesitated to put his hand on my shoulder when the movie scared me, something he wouldn't have done in a other situation. It was no big deal, just light touches I exchanged with the other beast members all the time but still it felt like a victory to me.

**CHAPTER 4 :**

When the film ended everyone was a little giddy and I really wanted to stay but a glance at my watch told me I had to be up in less than 5 hours. I groaned and got up from the floor. "Guys as much as I want to stay I really have to go." I said and Hyun Seung got up as well. "I'll walk you home. You shouldn't walk alone at a time like this." He said and I felt comforted by his words. "See you later." I said to the others before I exited their apartment with Hyun Seung by my side. We walked down the stairs in silence but it didn't bother me. It was comfortable, words weren't needed. Reaching the exit of the building we both turned to look at each other in surprise.

The rain was coming down, splashing down in puddles on the ground. I laughed heartily at Hyun Seung's baffled expression and calmly stepped outside, letting the rain soak me immediately. I had always loved the rain and I put my hands up to catch the droplets that fell. Turning to Hyun Seung I beckoned for him to come and he shook his head at my silliness but obeyed none the less. We walked to my apartment side by side till Seung stood still and turned to me. I looked at him in wonder, asking myself why he stopped. "Will you please dance for me." He asked me earnestly and I stared at him with doubt. "You told me we should ask if we wanted you to dance. So please, dance." He said and I felt the intensity of his eyes burning into me. Trust him to ask you the weirdest things at the strangest of times.

But looking into those eyes I knew I couldn't just ignore the request, the alcohol in my blood blurring my ability to make good decisions. I began to move to the music I heard playing in my head, the song that had been stuck there for a few weeks. Hyun Seung's face lit up when he saw the familiar dance steps of Fiction. His laugh sounded over the empty streets and he started dancing as well. It must've been an interesting sight for anyone who saw, two lunatics dancing on the street in the middle of the night while the rain came pouring down. Eventually the both of us stopped dancing while laughing heartily. "You weirdo! Let's get you to your apartment." Hyunseung said and he towed me towards the entrance of my building. "Like you aren't weird!" I countered and he just shrugged playfully.

I entered the building and turned around to face Hyunseung. He looked handsome with his hair dripping wet, his big eyes sparkling with joy. I curled my hand into a fist to resist the urge to stroke my hand over his face. He did stretch out his hand and ruffled my wet hair. "Goodnight Faye." He said and he smiled sweetly. Our eyes met and I held his gaze for a moment. The urge to step forward and let myself be buried into his familiar touch was so overwhelming. "Goodnight." I said and broke the contact between our eyes. I wasn't prepared for what happened next, the feel of soft lips on mine for a fraction of a second. "Sweet dreams." Hyunseung said before he turned around and disappeared into the rain again.

I stood motionless for a moment, feeling the touch linger on my mouth. With a dazed look I stepped into the elevator, letting it take me to my floor. After entering my apartment I let myself drop onto my bed, thoroughly confused. Why had he just kissed me? It had been a feather light touch but still a kiss. Was it just the alcohol or did he have more feeling for me? Why had I liked his kiss so much? My head was filled with questions and I felt my eyes starting to tear. I just didn't know what to do with the whirlwind of emotions I felt right now. I let the tears of confusion leak out of my eyes and fell asleep with them still trailing down my cheeks.

I woke up with a groan when my alarmclock rang. I had only slept for 4 hours and those hours had been tainted with nightmares. Without a look in the mirror I knew for sure that my face was bloated, a telltale sign that I had been crying all night. When my manager came to pick me up he studied me carefully but he didn't say a word about my appearance. During the ride to the beauty shop I was silent, staring outside while I tried to arrange my jumbled thoughts. When I arrived I saw that BEAST was also present, I had forgotten we would be having the same schedule for the day. I entered and let myself fall into a chair with a wave as greeting.

I waited for the stylist to start doing my make-up but before they started someone else appeared next to my chair. "Faye? Is there something wrong?" Junhyung asked me and I turned my head towards him with a weak smile. "No." I answered but he raised his brow. "Let's talk outside alright?" He said and I nodded, knowing he saw through my façade completely. He grabbed my hand and I followed him outside. He led me outside and faced me with a worried expression. "What is wrong?" He asked while he rubbed his thumb over my hand. "I'm confused Jun." I said and he waited for me to continue. "Promise you won't tell anyone about this?" I probed and he nodded uncertain. "Hyunseung kissed me yesterday." I said and Junhyung looked surprised. "He kissed you?

**FiNAL :**

I nodded. "When he walked me home. It was just a quick peck but still a kiss. I don't know what to think about it. Hell, I don't even know if he remembers it." I said and shook my head. Junhyung pulled me into the warmth of his embrace and I hugged him tight. "Babe, your relationship has always been confusing. But what do you want to think about the kiss?" He said and his wise words made me smile despite it all. "I want it to mean something. I don't want it to be a drunken mistake. I have fallen for him again Jun, badly. And I want him to feel the same for me. I want him to think of me as his girl again." I said and I surprised myself with the confession.

Junhyung smiled at my words. "I know babe. And I think Hyunseung wants the same thing, I really do. But you guys have to figure this out on your own. Just know that I've never seen either of you happier then when you were together." He said and I tightened my hold on him. "Let's go get our make-up done." I said and we walked inside, Junhyung's arm still wrapped around my waist firmly. Everyone looked at the both of us with curiosity, I saw Hyunseung's brow furrow slightly. The make-up unnies started and I closed my eyes to let myself doze away. The talk with Junhyung had been good for me. I had now acknowledged to myself I wanted Hyunseung back but I would give him the choice. I wouldn't go running after him like a lost puppy.

My bad mood vanished with the second and when my make-up was ready I was little miss sunshine again. I somehow felt so much better. By acknowledging my feelings for Hyunseung a big burden had fallen of my chest. Maybe it was also because I had just made the decision to put the faith of us in his hands. I began annoying the guys as soon as I got up from my chair, poking every inch of them I could reach. Junhyung grabbed me and put me on his lap while restraining my hands. "Stop it! You're annoying!" He whined but I could hear the laugh in his voice, the relief now he saw that I felt better. I turned my head and kissed him on the cheek, surprising everyone in the room. "Thank you." I said and he laughed lightly. "I'm glad you feel better now" He answered. I could see the confused stares of the others around us since they didn't understand what we were talking about. The eyes of Hyunseung seemed to burn through my skull but I didn't pay attention to it.

Soon enough both our managers came to get us for variety filming. We would be guest at 'Come to play' today together with 4minute. It was a special Cube episode but couldn't make it unfortunately. During preparations for the show it was big fun in the dressing rooms. Since all of us were close everyone was joking around. The filming began and we all introduced ourselves and talked comfortable for a while. Then there was some sort of answering box with two buttons. You had to press either of the buttons and then the amount of people that had chosen a certain option would be shown.

Firstly the questions were silly but eventually it got a little more to the point. "I've had my first real love already." Was one of the questions and without a doubt I chose the 'yes' button. The count was '4'. "Oh, our young friends have already experience love!" The woman exclaimed. "Does anyone want to confess he or she pressed?" She probed and I put my hand in the air alongside with Gayoon, Dojoon and .. Hyunseung. "Oh Faye. Do you want to tell us a bit about it?" The man said and I nodded slowly. "Well, it was before debut. I don't know if there is that much to tell. We were friends and it gradually developed to something more. But eventually it didn't work out anymore so we broke up." I said, explaining it all very briefly.

"Oh, can you tell us more?" The man said and the woman chimed in. "Yes. Tell us how he confessed! Or did you confess?" She said excited and I pursed my lips before I slowly started. "It was when I was still a trainee. There was this one guy who took good care of me and he always made me laugh. Then one day he confessed to me while we were standing outside my house in the soaking rain, I remember that clearly. He had insisted on accompanying me to my house despite the pouring rain. We talked and all of the sudden he confessed. 'Faye. Don't hit me please but I want you to be my girlfriend.' he said to me, like the weird person he was. I told him I didn't think of hitting him and instead kissed him." I said and I smiled at the memory of it all. This memory was the reason I still loved rain so much.

By explaining the details I gave away that I was talking about Hyunseung. But the strength in my heart told me it would be good to get everything in the open. The woman squealed happily. "How romantic! A kiss in the rain." She said and I smiled at her response. I saw from the faces of my labelmates they knew who I was talking about. A glance at Hyunseung's face made it obvious he knew it as well. His face was composed but it was visible that some emotion was brewing underneath that composure. The mc's were unaware of the emotions in the studio so the man just happily commented again. "How about you send a video-message to him." He suggested and I raised my eyebrow but the camera focused on me already. I took a deep breath and looked into the camera.

"Hi dear. It's been a long time since I called you that right? Are you doing well right now? I hope you take care of your health like I told you before. Don't drink cause it'll make you do strange things that you might regret later. You remember our first kiss in the rain right? Well I remember it as clearly as our last one which also happened to be when it was raining. I think it was a sort of goodbye-kiss, to all that happened before it, and it marked our new beginning. I'll always treasure these memories of us in my heart. I might see you again someday, the young innocent boy that captured my heart. I wish you all the best, love Faye." I said and I heard the studio become quiet around me. I had put some of my recent feelings in the message. Trying to show Hyunseung how confused his last kiss made me, trying to tell him I still cared for him deeply.

On my left Junhyung gave my hand a squeeze. He understood the most of my speech, knowing about the last kiss I referred to. Once again my eyes found Hyunseung and he had his eyes focused on mine. For a brief moment our eyes met and then I casted my gaze down. The mc's clapped and the others joined in hesitantly, knowing all too well who my message had been directed to. The show continued but my mind was drifting somewhere else. I had now put in all the effort possible to rescue our old relationship. If this wouldn't work out I would forget Hyunseung for once and for all. When the director announced a break I stood up quickly and nearly dashed away to the corridors, I didn't really want to face everyone right now. But my dash hadn't been fast enough since my wrist got caught in a hand and the next thing I knew was that I was pulled into an empty dressingroom.

I turned around with the expectation of finding or Junhyung who were here to nag at me. But the person that stood in front of me was neither of them, it was Hyunseung. He looked at me for a few moments, neither of us speaking. "So I've heard your video message." He started. "Uh." Was the only thing I could say. "Did I confuse you yesterday?" He continued and I nodded my head while looking into his face. "That wasn't my intention." He said and I cringed. He was going to say it was a mistake, I'm sure of it. "I actually wanted to make something clear but it seems like I'm going to have to try again." He said and I didn't have time to react before I felt his lips on mine again. And unlike yesterday this wasn't a simple peck. His lips were persistent on mine and unconsciously my lips mirrored his. He had me pushed to the wall and kept kissing me deeply. The kiss lasted for a while till I pushed him back lightly.

His eyes met mine with confusion. "I'm sorry." He said and this time I was the one to make something clear. "It's not that I don't like it but my lips will get swollen and I don't need that on national television." I said cheekily and a grin appeared on his face. "So can I do it again after the filming?" He asked with a smirk and I nodded slowly. "Yes but on one condition." I said and my expression turned serious once again. Hyunseung looked at me in alarm but he nodded slowly. "Tell me." He said and he waited patiently. "Please be my boyfriend again." I whispered in his ear and he grinned before pecking me on the lips. "It would be my pleasure."

The both of us exited the dressingroom we had been in and made our way to the one we all shared. Junhyung sent me just one look before he broke into a smile. "Thank god!" He said and I could do nothing but grin back. The others also smiled and immediately knew what was happening. "Oh I'm so happy for you!" Gina exclaimed while she ran towards me to hug me. I hugged her back and sat down, glowing with happiness. And Hyunseung? Well he laid down on the floor and started screaming...

And with that our relationship would continue again, through the good times and the bad.


End file.
